Allow the emotion

Last week I had a friend text, “Cami have you figured out how to turn off feelings yet?”

It’s crazy how emotions can come out of nowhere. It’s also interesting that when the emotion is anything but happy we feel like we have to change it. Stop it!

Ok easier said than done, it we have to feel whatever it is so we can heal where it’s coming from. We are complicated that’s for sure! The whole mind, body, spirit has many factors we get to learn. Then add in relationships, sprinkled with memories and it can be tough. But this is life and it’s what we GET to figure out!

Several months ago I lost my sweet Gram. It broke my heart. I wasn’t ready and it happened when she was in another state. It broke my heart- I’m so grateful for my uncle who let me talk (sob) to her to tell her goodbye over the phone as he let me know her reactions. I am grateful to him for his kindness to my breaking heart. It’s hard to put into words my adoration and feelings for her. From a very small age she had been my person. We had a special bond that I’m forever grateful for!

I was blessed to grow up just 10 minutes away from her and she has been very involved in many aspects of my life. I had a relationship with her like no one else. She bought my kindergarten dress. She brought an ice cream maker and fresh strawberries from her garden we planted to make ice cream on Grandparents day when I was in elementary school. She tried to help me in Jr. High when I had no self esteem. She would make me look in my mirror and say, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and dog gonnit people like me.” I didn’t believe it then and I sometimes still struggle.

She was my substitute teacher in High School. I love/hated it. So did she. I hated it because she was the sub in my worst class the DAY I had to get a grade report filled out, she hated it because my friends called her Mrs. Staples. (Her last name was Stapley.) but we both loved seeing each other, giggling and a couple of times ate lunch together.

She was my substitute teacher in High School. I love/hated it. So did she. I hated it because she was the sub in my worst class the DAY I had to get a grade report filled out, she hated it because my friends called her Mrs. Staples. (Her last name was Stapley.) but we both loved seeing each other, giggling and a couple of times ate lunch together. As an adult I still loved taking her out to lunch!

Gram came with my Mom to drop me off at college. I not only talked them into “breaking the rules” to go into the hotel pool area after pool hours but got them to get in the pool on the count of 1-2-3…they got in, I didn’t! 😂 My Mom through gritted teeth “Get.in.this.pool!” Bahaha! Gram was scared of water since she was a kid but somehow I talked her into getting into the pool. She even ducked under water when I yelled, “Hey everybody my Grandma is swimming in her underwear!”She gasped as she came up from the water, “You little shit”! I laughed and laughed. Ha ha it’s still just as funny today. I know she doesn’t like when we tell people she swore but come on, it’s hilarious!

She was the person who taught me to love my laugh/giggle that I was so self conscious about. It’s distinct and people always know it’s me. Maybe I didn’t like the attention. She was the one I broke the rules to “call home” to when I was serving a mission. She has always supported me.

So why am I talking about my Gram today? This weekend I spent some time alone in her garage sanding the cupboards that I used to to leave her love notes in. I cried for a minute because I felt sad. I let myself feel it instead of try to push it away. Later I sat in her recliner to rest for a minute as I looked out her front window with tears in my eyes. I even looked in her bathroom mirror after scrubbing paint off my face with sawdust covered hair, tears streamed down my face as I whispered the words from Jr. High. “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggonnit people love me.” And them I let myself cry. It was a sad cry. Why now? Because that’s how feelings and emotions work – they are going to show up randomly. All I could do is not let myself be controlled BY them.

When you feel something, get curious about it. Why was I sad? We were changing the house that for years has been known as “Grandma’s house.” It will no longer look like her house…so for me it was saying goodbye to her again through her space. We are making space for new Grandparents/Grandkids memories to be made!

As I went back to the garage to finish sanding I felt an overwhelming sense of love as if she was sitting right there next to me. It was as if I could almost hear her giggle. She is ok, we are ok (it was a little rough the last couple of years of her life as she struggled with dementia. Few of us experienced her spurts of anger and borderline crazy.) She still loves me like I remembered. I’m pretty sure even though she’s on the other side, I’m still her favorite!

I love love love that these little notes were hanging on the wall by her bed the day she passed from a coaching session I had with her. It was an honor to coach her through some of her hard things in life- and that it was helpful enough that they were taped to her wall. Cue more tears. I’m forever blessed by my friendship with my Grandma.

So to answer my friends question – NO, I haven’t learned how to turn off feelings. I have learned MANY tools to help me deal with emotions when they show up. When you feel something other than “happy” what do you do?

The mind and body connection…or disconnection

I mentioned on my Instagram stories about the connection between your emotions and body, and how emotional things can show up in physical ailments. The mind/body connection is powerful but can’t always be “seen”.

Have you ever walked into a room and “the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife”? What you’re feeling is negative energy, or a negative vibe/vibration. Likewise, expressing gratitude would generate positive energy or a positive vibe/vibration.



Often when energy is talked about people get weirded out and call it all sorts of things. But the truth is, it’s energy.

Emotions and experiences are essentially energy and can be stored in the cellular memory of our bodies. Have you ever experienced something in your life that left an emotional mark or pain in a certain area of your body? Almost as if you can still feel something that may have happened to you? It is likely because in that area of your body you still hold energy released from that experience that has lingered in the body. This picture (from google images) depicts what various emotions might affect in the body.



When there is have pain, tightness, or injuries in certain areas, it can be related to something emotionally you are feeling within yourself. At first glance it may not seem this way because we are usually very out of touch with ourselves and our emotions. It’s taken me years to understand this (because I fought the concept for so long), but it’s often the truth.

I have used several resources to deal help heal the emotional pain that has showed up physically. Here are two quick books for you to check out that give you a stp by step guide on how to work on these emotions from home. 

Feelings Buried Alive Never Die from Karol Truman and Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. 

One of the reasons I think it was hard for me to wrap my head around is because I wasn't raised around it. It was foreign. Instead, I too adopted a false belief that emotions are bad and to just deal with it. What is interesting is that I took a poll several weeks ago on my Instagram page and over 200 people participated in it. Check out these numbers. It looks like I wasn't the only one who was taught that. I know now to EMBRACE whatever emotion it is, feel it, deal with it THEN heal it!



When I’ve had chronic pain in my back, knees, or neck, it wasn’t exercise or any kind of medication that healed it; it was when aligned my body with an adjustment and then dealt with the emotions behind it that it went away.

I know this because I spent the time and money doing the other stuff and even though I wanted and believed I would get better, something still wasn’t being addressed. The more I addressed the unconscious thought patterns, false beliefs and trapped emotions in various parts of my body, the more things loosened up and the pain went away.

Trust me when I say it’s all a learning process; we don’t have to judge or fear it, or even accept it. I suggest just trying it.

If you’re thinking about trying it, I’d love to gift you a FREE 15 minute call- just send me a an email!

I look forward to helping you start your healing journey!! 

A picture is worth a thousand words…

Quick question . . . what is this? 



Let me guess . . . Did you say, "iPhone" ?  While yes, that is TRUE - this iPhone is also a calculator, camera, email, health monitor, ticket holder, credit card, TV, weather channel, film maker  telephone, typewriter, wallet, social media device, ​etc. It is black, it is rectangle, it is movable, it is fragile and so on. 

HOW in the world can one picture have so many different words attached to it? "A picture is worth a thousand words." I completely agree!  Isn't that interesting - did you think of different words that I didn't put in those boxes above? Why?

SO many words are encapsulated in this tiny square picture. I LOVE this picture that I took in Whistler, outside of Vancouver BC in Canada a couple of years ago. This picture reminds me to stand tall despite raging waters. It reminds me to continue to go with the flow and to be adaptable like water. It reminds me that there is beauty all around and to find it, it reminds me to slow down and continually move towards God and to trust Him. It’s a lesson I continually am reminded of but I’m grateful again and again that I am reassured that God knows me!



Clarity

Adventure

​Relaxation

Strength​

Beauty

Vibrance

Adventure

Memories

Weakness

Peace

​Love

and 1,000 more things!​

So, what's my point? My point is this:  sometimes we may feel like an answer to a problem or a prayer is obvious and yet sometimes it takes a little digging because it can be multifaceted.  As a Life Coach one of my goals is to help you look at things differently. Because I too practice the things I teach teach, tonight I mentally mind dumped stumbling blocks in my head onto a virtual blanket. When I say mental blocks I mean the blocks of my life; my story, key people, situations, jobs, lessons and experiences to sort through them. Often as you do this images show up during your sorting process.

For me, the Whistler Picture at the top is one that came to my mind.  It was as if I could feel the air for a brief moment. This is one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen.

If you get to a place where you are stuck in your mind, caught up with life, ruminating situations...FIRST of all breathe! Picture in your mind somewhere that brings you peace and start unloading all of your blocks to rearrange them. I promise it will calm your mind chatter, give you a new perspective and create a space for you to reconnect and plug back into the truest version of you, your true self.



When you use the same way of thinking you get the same results. It takes hard work to think differently but once you get the hang of it, you see your life transforming. 

 Where is one place in your life where you feel "stuck"?​

Lean into change…

“Permanence is an illusion. There is a constant in the universe and that is change.”                    - Heraclitus

I loved many different things during my college years. It was in college where I came out of my "shy shell" (true story that most people find hard to believe), I found my voice, I went without a lot of sleep, I went spotlighting for rabbits, building forts, climbing towers, jumping into cotton bails, lighting fires, watching creepy movies in the desert and all kinds of shenanigans.  You might guess I went to college in a small town and I LOVED the changes I learned about myself there. (Oh and the little bit of learning) Those were good years filled with memories I’ll always cherish.

A few years later (cough, cough)  things and ways that I love are a quite different. I love supportive people, I live for real conversations, I'm constantly learning tools to share with others, I am obsessed with snuggling babies, I enjoy having dinner with funny friends, lake trips, my hydroflask full of ice water, people doing their best to live with kindness and of course eating mangos on the beach!



Quite different wouldn't you agree?

We all face changes every day – whether it is a simple change of the weather, our schedule or what we choose to eat. We each deal with change in a different way and change affects us each differently as well. For the most part, we generally deal with the natural daily ebb and flow of life and struggles with  small changes we see and make every day.  However, sometimes there is a change that jumps out of nowhere and totally shakes you to what may feel like all the way to the core. Sound familiar?

These changes can be job changes, marriage, illness, the birth of a child, a recent empty nest or even something as major as a crippling diagnosis or even the death of a loved one – all of which have a different magnitude of how they impact your life. No matter the change we experience, how we embrace that change will forever impact how we are able to live with it.

Change is constant. When a person is trying to be a better person, they will find that friends not be on board with the changes because it effects them.  There’s no need to apologize when a stage of life changes! You’re in a different place. I hope I continue to embrace and love change as it occurs. I have learned that growth as a person and positive change is always a GOOD thing even if the process is hard.



However, change is difficult for people. For some of us, it’s pure laziness. But for others, we don’t like the lack of control or the uncertainty of worse outcomes, bruised egos, embarrassment or failing. People also seem to hate losing more than they love winning.

But, if you don’t learn to embrace change and if you don’t move forward, you will be left behind. So, whether it’s changing the focus of your business, having to learn new technology or replacing a prized employee, you need to know how to deal with change.



What do you love about your life that has come about because of change?